As long as I can remember, I've been a goal setter. This comes from my mom. For most of my life she has been a very successful Realtor, and she learned the power of working toward specific goals from her visionary brokers Bob Malone and Sheila Hodges. During Mom's annual goal-setting sessions at work, she would come home and encourage me to set my own goals. I don't remember many specific goals I set. When my brother Kenny left for college when I was little little, I decided then I would go to college too. I achieved that early goal due to a full academic scholarship. Also, I remember that I wanted to make the All-County volleyball team in eighth grade. I didn't, but I was named the team's MVP at the end of the year sports banquet. The MVP plaque hung in my room way too long!
Two very specific goals I set my ninth grade year were to graduate in the Top 10 of my class and to be drum major in the band. I would have aimed higher than Top 10, but I hated the geometry class I had my freshman year and resolved simply to get out of that class alive. Alive for me meant with a B average. Since I'm still breathing, I must have done fine. However, I still get tense when I think about that class!
At the end of my junior year of high school I was named drum major for the Foley Band. I was so very excited, but I had never doubted that I would get the position. I still don't remember why I didn't try out at the end of my sophomore year. I had a broken arm that spring, but I could have tried out with a caste. Anyway, I have never regretted waiting until my last year. Because the previous year's drum majors had both graduated, the three drum majors were all new. I had the highest try-out scores so I was the head drum major. That basically meant I would get to direct from the tall stand while the other two had to step ladders.
When my oncologist told me I would have to begin chemotherapy in early August, I refused. My Number 1 goal was being drum major. It meant everything to me. I simply stated that treatment would have to wait until after the football season (or marching band season) ended. As far as I was concerned, there was to be no more discussion. Period. Please remember, I didn't feel bad. I never had any physical symptoms except for the tumors in my neck (the size of a walnut) and my chest (the size of a fist). I wasn't going to take medicine that was going to make me vomit and my hair fall out when I didn't feel it was necessary. My dad went to two doctor's appointments during all this. The first was when I was diagnosed by the ENT, and the second was this one. When I refused treatment, he threw a hissy fit.
My oncologist was wonderful. He assured me that he would give me the least invasive chemo that would still be affected. He further assured me that he and his nurse would work around my schedule. If that meant late nights or early morning treatments, they would make it work. and they did! I usually had treatment on Saturday morning except for the three or four weeks when we had band competitions. On those weekends, I would go in for chemo on Sunday afternoons. My nurse, Carole James, and her entire family deserve unlimited praise. She had children younger than I was. I'm sure she would have preferred to be home with them on the weekends, but there she was on her weekends spending 2-3 hours while I had my chemo infusions. Because she was willing to sacrifice her time, I reached my goal of being drum major. I only missed one band practice that fall, and that was when I was released late on a Monday afternoon from Baptist hospital.
Two other men deserve much credit for letting me reach this dream. My band directors, Mr. Pence and Mr. Cooper never asked me to give it up. They would have had every right to tell me no. Foley had one of the top bands in the South, and they had almost 200 hundred other students to consider. However, they never even hinted that they would ask me to step down. I can't find the right words to express how I felt when I directed the band. I certainly didn't feel like someone who was fighting for her life. Many thanks to the band directors, band boosters, and band students who let me have that experience.
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