Last Wednesday I started feeling an acute pain in my upper back. By Thursday the pain was so sharp I couldn't breathe deeply. Every logical cell in my brain screamed that it was just a misaligned rib that would be fine with a quick trip to the chiropractor. However, the illogical cells started a rumor in my head that it was breast cancer.
I know that due to the location of treatment during radiation in 1995 that I have an increased risk of developing breast cancer. This increase is not so tremendous that getting breast cancer is imminent; however, I have spent many years trying to shut down the little voice in my head that says, "It's coming. It's coming." When I was around 30, I was totally convinced I would develop breast cancer by age 48. Having an actual age in my head almost destroyed everything I enjoyed. I consider it a victory that I only have thoughts of it every once in awhile, and I'm usually very capable of shushing that voice quickly.
After all these years, I still get jumpy when something isn't right. When I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease, I did not feel sick so my body and I don't have a very trusting relationship. It failed to warn me once, and I don't want to risk it again. When I do feel sick, particularly sore throats, I tend to freak out more than most people. I hate having swollen glands because that's what I thought the tumor in my neck was.
At any rate, my fabulous chiropractor poked my rib back in place. The soreness is subsiding, and I feel confident I'm ok. I've once again defeated the evil voice in my head.
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